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Top Ten Reasons
“Time Out New York ”
wrote about
the “imaginary” Inwood, Manhattan
(West of Broadway)
instead of including 
the “real” Inwood, Manhattan
(East of Broadway).
A group of us who live in the “real” Inwood were a bit confused by a recent advertorial that rated Inwood #4 of the top ten coolest "hoods", so we put together this inquiry of the top ten possible reasons “Time Out New York ” wrote about the “imaginary” Inwood, Manhattan (West of Broadway) instead of including the “real” Inwood, Manhattan (East of Broadway).

  • 10. “Time Out New York ” proof readers are dyslexic and didn’t notice that they switched “imaginary” for “real”.

  • 9. “Time Out New York ” took a cue from NASA and built a movie set for the photo shoot rather than going up into the “galaxy and great beyond” past 190th.

  • 8. “Time Out New York” is a fan of fairy tales.

  • 7. “Time Out New York ” has completely lost their edge and made a pact with “The Man”.

  • 6. “Time Out New York ” quoted the gentleman in the picture as having said “Go home yuppies” not realizing he was an actor doing an improvisation using for his "inner work" a reversal of Meisner's acting creedo (thereby reinventing it as  “Living imaginary under truthful circumstances) see dyslexia #10).

  • 5. “Time Out New York ” downloaded the story from one of those “We’ll Write Your Term Paper” web sites.

  • 4. “Time Out New York ” wasn’t aware that pedestrians don’t have to follow the “Left Turn Only” sign at the corner of Dyckman and Broadway.

  • 3. “Time Out New York ” created a brilliant piece of social satire.

  • 2. “Time Out New York ” befell the misfortune of having a dog eat the real article.

  • 1. “Time Out new York ” got a new ad account from a real estate developer.

Although on the one hand we are grateful for the benefits that a piece of fiction may bring to the area in terms of new neighbors, on the other hand it is doing a real disservice to the community to not authentically document it and blatantly ignore real problems of an area in crisis East of Broadway.  These issues include covert arrangements, graffiti, hydrant mischief, lawsuit abuse, littering, loitering, narcotics, noise pollution, safety, vandalism.and are examined by real live residents of Inwood at  Free Hypnosis Test (though in this case the irony is intentional).

Sincerely,

Marvin Augustess
C.A.C.C.N. (Crusaders against Creepy Clown NYC)